Nothing is more wounding than receiving judgment
Nothing is more wounding to a new mom than receiving criticism and judgment from those around you. Here you are, completely brand new to being a mother, tired, confused and doing your absolute best to care for this tiny human who can’t communicate other than cry or scream and someone tells you that “You are wrong.” This judgment comes from everywhere even when you least expect it- from professionals like callous nurses or doctors, from loved ones like in-laws or your mother, from total strangers at the grocery store even! It’s no wonder new mothers feel worried, doubtful of themselves and guilty all at once.
Very rarely do we receive support that tells us “You know exactly how to care for your child. Your wisdom runs deep and I trust you to give your child exactly what they need.”
I am here to believe in you until you believe in yourself
Mama, that’s why I’m here. I want to give you a way of combatting this judgement, and, more importantly I want to be here to believe in you until you believe in yourself. I will hold up a mirror that sees the love and purity of your mommy heart, gaze deeply in your soul and let you know that you are a capable, competent, amazing mother. Through this blog, through FB interactions (@LesleyYadonCoaching) and through my private coaching, I see you and I support you.
Today I want to talk about how we can harness the power of our bodies to help us deal with our fear of judgment. Another person’s assessment of our mothering does not hurt us until we are afraid of it and allow that wound to fester.
Your body is a great source of wisdom and strength- it can help your mind find confidence instead of fear.
The Power Pose
When you are feeling judged or when you are about to encounter a person or situation you always find yourself feeling judged in, find a private place and put your body into a power pose. I learned about power posing from Amy Cuddy (To learn more check out her viral Ted X talk). There’s all kind of super cool science and great personal stories about how this works!
There are a variety of poses that are good for this but you need to find one that feels powerful and confident to YOU. Here are some sample poses with yours truly as the model.
Whatever pose you choose, be sure that your heart center is open (notice how expansive the chest is in these poses) Hold the pose for up to two minutes for the most benefit. But even holding it for 30 seconds or imagining yourself in the power pose will help!
Practice this power pose for at least two weeks (more is better!) and see the difference in your confidence. Come back here and let me know how your sense of personal power, competence and confidence in the face of jugement changes after practicing using your power pose.
PS If you are feeling alone and judged and could really use someone’s belief in your ability and goodness, sign up here for a mini coaching session- 30 minute of support and guidance- for just $17.00. I’m here to tell you mama, your wisdom runs deep.
About me:
Lesley specializes in coaching new moms. She believes deeply and passionately that every mother already has and already IS exactly what she needs to be to mother her baby with confidence and joy. With 16 years working in social work and a Masters in Counseling, Lesley can help you create a more confident, joyful motherhood journey. Her advice has appeared in Thrive Global, Mamapedia, Bustle, and Fit Pregnancy.