This is my dog JoJo when she was just a few months old. JoJo is a cute little scalawag who has an absolute Obsession with chewing. This dog cannot stop chewing. Once she gets a hold of something she gnaws and bites and chews and gnaws some more until it is gone and she moves on to another object. Problem is, JoJo likes to chew stuff that isn’t good for her like plastic bottles, PVC pipe, sprinkler lines, kid’s toys. . . . and she won’t let go.
Your brain with a hurtful thought is like a puppy with a bone. Once a thought that hurts, or scares or worries gets in your mind it doesn’t let go. Like a dog with a bone, your brain will chew on thoughts that aren’t good for you. You may latch onto hurtful words and replay them over and over in your mind. Every time you replay those words, you experience the hurt in your mind, body and spirit again and again. Can you relate? Do you ever get stuck worrying a thought to death and feeling miserable?
I see this happening with new moms when other people comment about their baby or their parenting choices. New moms are in the middle of a steep learning curve. Someone comes along- often a family member- and makes a comment or tells them to do so something differently. These words, spoken to a mother at her most physically challenging, hormonally charged, emotionally overwhelming time of her life often throws her into a mental and emotional tailspin. Whether intentional or not, the comments can feel belittling and judgmental. This can be a very painful experience, especially when mom continues to replay the conversation in her head over and over.
But the good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck in the painful experience. The first step for rescuing yourself is to notice. Notice when you are feeling a strong feeling like anxiety or worry or anger. Then pay attention to the thoughts you are having. I suggest trying to take a couple of minutes to write them down. Just the process of noticing and writing should bring relief.
If you need more help breaking out of the pain, identify the thought that your brain is chewing on the most and choose to throw that bone away. It is yucky. You don’t need it anymore and it is not good for the digestive system. Write that thought down on a separate piece of paper. Put it in the trash and walk away feeling lighter and free-er and proud of yourself. You’ve got this Mama.
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What yucky worry bone are you throwing away? Let me know below in the comments section.