So you’ve spent nine months gestating a little human, then labored and gave birth to said human. Now you are using your body to sustain baby (whether or not you are nursing). Some of you might be looking at the most recent celebrity who has had a baby and begin hating on that body that just did all those things.
I get it. It’s complicated. Our bodies seem to betray us in so many ways- dimply flesh where our muscle has deteriorated, squishy bellies, the unexpected back fat, breasts that are sore or large or uneven or saggy. Plus there are all the other weird things pregnancy affects- my gums went to hell, my feet hurt when I first get up in the morning now and I think I produce more ear wax (just kidding. I made that one up. But it could happen you know). And can we just talk about the vagina for a minute? What the heck is up with the farting?
This is a great deal to process. Not only is our identity and sense of self shifting rapidly, irrevocably, but we are confronted by what can feel like a completely new body. And it’s waaaaaay too easy to start hating on that body.
It may be obvious and you’ve probably heard it before, but I’m gonna’ tell you again– it’s probably not the best thing for you (or your baby) to be hating on yourself. So what can you do when you look in the mirror or your body won’t work the way it used to or it does something new and embarrassing and you begin to feel the yuckies toward it? Here are my favorite tools for handling body hate.
- Practice finding one or two things you are grateful for or admire about your body every day. Lavish those one or two things with attention and affection. For me, I really love my eyes so I spend a few minutes every day highlighting their beauty with eye shadow, liner and mascera. Another day I use a heated lavendar scented rice bag on my shoulders and neck because I admire how strong they are. If you are really in self-hate mode try to do this every day for 15 days.
- Choose strong stories about your body. Talk to your family and friends about how incredible your body was during your labor or how quickly it has healed. Tell them how your body keeps giving and giving as you are getting up nights, carrying your baby and gear and doing all your family chores. Pay attention to how your body serves you even when you are the most exhausted. Your body makes it possible to care for your sweet baby.
- Wear clothes that flatter your body. . .Even if you have to buy new clothes do it!! Stop wearing old, grubby, saggy, baggy clothes that came out of the back of your closet, or god forbid, your husband’s closet. Wear colors and shapes that you feel beautiful in. **** Pro tip: I used my maternity tops as dresses or tunics with belts. Super cute and good recycling of practically new clothes!
If you are feeling the hates, try one or all three of these techniques. In the comments below, let me know how it goes. I would love to connect with you about this journey toward body love.